Hello lovely reader. Thanks for stopping by.
If you’re in need of a little confidence boost and reminder for self-love, I think you’ll love this blog post. Today, I’m sharing several realizations I’ve had on this topic and ways to show yourself appreciation and love. These suggestions are things that have worked for me and concepts that have shifted my perspective to feel more positively. If you’re interested in leveling up and shifting your mindset, please enjoy!
Here are 5 powerful ways to show yourself appreciation and love:
1) Accept that no one is “100 percent” all of the time.
If you are self-critical, give yourself a break. Even the most confident, highly-organized, and successful individuals occasionally doubt themselves. It is only human. It is not realistic to be happy all of the time, but striving for a positive mindset is key. Part of the human condition involves a bit of the rain, feeling doubtful, and even stress. Personally, I am a very happy person, but sometimes I still feel stressed and overextended. However, I do feel that creating shifts in what we believe about ourselves creates attitudes and feelings as a result. (i.e. “I am happy.” “I connect easily with people.” “I am outgoing.” “People want to be friends with me.”)
On a related note… Check it out: I recently watched this video created by relationship strategist Matthew Hussey. In this video, he is actually talking about the modern man and why women need to stop being hard on men if they don’t approach, calling men cowards if they don’t make a move, and using terms like “beta male behavior.” He also touches on how a man often feels he needs an invitation to flirt with a woman if he is going to approach. However, he does address an essential part of human behavior in which even confident people feel the need for encouragement and experience moments of uncertainty. He also mentions that this mindset of being critical of others creates limitations of who you could potentially connect with.
2) Celebrate your achievements and milestones in your life.
This past year, I realized that one of the biggest gaps in my success was not taking the time to celebrate my accomplishments. Instead, I would strive to move forward into the next phase and not reward myself. After reflecting on the past several years, I do have so much to be grateful for. I am drawing closer to finishing my graduate program, planning a move (very soon) to an exciting new city, contemplating travels, new personal development pursuits, have created new connections and strengthened friendships, and have a birthday coming up (and get to share a birthday weekend with my dog). So, currently, I am contemplating ways I would like to invest in myself and reward myself within my budget.
If you’ve worked hard to get where you are today, have entered into a new stage, or simply feel like you deserve a reward, treat yourself. Life is short.
- If you have the ability to save extra money, create a self-love savings account. As your savings build over time, treat yourself to a vacation, concert tickets, new makeup palette, a few new outfits, a beauty treatment, or something special you would like to reward yourself with.
3) Surround yourself with people who lift you up and support you.
You begin to resemble the company you keep. – Polish Proverb
A true friend will want you to feel positively about yourself. A healthy friendship is an exchange of love, appreciation, and sharing your story.
What I’ve learned as I embark on my own pathway of personal development and self-love, is that there may not be space for everyone who was once in your life. Without being critical of others and being open to forgiving those who have wronged you, sometimes detaching from negative people and unhealthy friendships allows you to move on to the next phase of your development. Cultivating a group of high-quality friends is a process that can take years- and the process requires a healthy filter of wise choosing. I am grateful to have created a group of friends that are kind, mature, insightful, and beautiful on the inside- but it took time to get here.
I truly believe that while you can never expect perfection from anyone and no one can meet a standard of perfection, creating a standard for how you are willing to be treated sparks a major shift in perspective.
4) Understand what truly lies behind backhanded compliments.
If you have been the target of backhanded compliments from other women, I know how it feels, having also experienced these comments being directed towards me. Between women, these comments are often made out of insecurities, a place of scarcity, and jealously. Even if you know this and feel confident in yourself, these comments can still totally sting if they are directed towards you personally… A backhanded compliment can basically translate into, “You’re really pretty… BUT… *insert something that could be seen as a flaw*.” Or simply, a backhanded compliment can be a statement that is actually a criticism but is presented almost jokingly, as if you should laugh.
After years of personal development work, striving to better myself, and acknowledging my self-worth and value, I have the ability to detach from these kinds of comments and see that they aren’t true. Still, even after developing a thick skin, I am sensitive- and most people are sensitive even if they don’t reveal it. If you have also been the target of backhanded compliments at any point in your life and development, know that other women say those things because they feel insecure in themselves, do not feel beautiful, do not truly value themselves, and want to push you down to make themselves feel better. People often make backhanded compliments when they feel threatened and want to de-validate what they feel threatened by. If you are the target of jealously, just keep shining. There is space for everyone to shine. If someone isn’t allowing themselves to shine and aren’t supporting you shining, that doesn’t take away from your value. Be open to moving on from unhealthy friendships if these comments continue.
5) Identify your own ego boosts and outlets you love.
Knowing what is most effective to boost your own ego, confidence, and sense of self-worth and love is so key in creating a self-care practice and consistently rewarding yourself for your achievements. For me, taking a bubble bath, giving myself a facial, applying makeup, spraying perfume, meditation, buying a new outfit, or simply calling a friend are just a few actions that have been beneficial for me to boost my confidence and also de-stress. I also love to curl up in bed with a coffee or herbal tea, good book, and my dog- and just spend some time relaxing. While I don’t have plans to publish my poetry any time soon, I am also a poet, and writing poetry has been a wonderful outlet for me for many years. Knowing what makes you happy and helps you relax is so key to overall happiness. I feel that an ego boost shouldn’t need to qualify as buying something material, but investing in yourself and your own development makes a big difference. If that means buying a new dress or pair of earrings within your price range, why not invest in yourself for a little ego boost and acknowledgement of self-love?
- Journal on what makes you happy- the experiences, people, relationships, outlets, hobbies, career pathway, etc. Then, ask yourself if you need to bring more balance of the people, experiences, and outlets that make you happy. How can you bring more of what makes you happy into your life? What do you need to do to feel more love in your life on all levels?
I hope you enjoyed this post and it brought you more ideas on how to show yourself appreciation and love, boost your sense of confidence, and significant ways to better yourself. Let me know what you think in the comments. Warmest wishes.
– Julita xo
(Images via Pexels)